Building Family Bonds Around the Campfire

 Even if you can't go camping, you can reap the benefits of a family campfire.

I am so thankful for spring and the warmer weather it brings. I love to get my hands it the dirt and start planting flowers and vegetables.

It also signals to me that summer is just around the corner and that means camping season. Camping with my friends and family is my kind of vacation.

When I was younger, pitching a tent and throwing down a sleeping bag worked fine for a couple of nights. But as I’ve gotten older, I prefer the comforts of our camper.

The best part of camping

Either way, the best part of camping is the evenings spent around the campfire. Regardless of what activities everyone partakes in during the day; swimming, fishing, hiking, hunting, or horseback riding, we all make it back to share dinner and a campfire.

We tell a lot of stories and jokes around the fire and do some reminiscing as well. Personally, I feel more relaxed and I notice that my friends and family have more patience with each other. Everyone is willing to jump in and help out wherever they are needed.

Yes, by mid-spring, I’m ready to say goodbye to cold weather and staying indoors. The weeks between Memorial Weekend in May and Labor Day weekend are prime time for family camping trips.

Except for maybe this year. Things just might be a little different. The opportunities to pitch a tent or park an RV in our favorite campground may be limited, if we are allowed to venture out at all.

The mandates to ‘shelter in place’ have curtailed many of our usual spring activities like hiking, boating, and fishing. And this most likely will continue to be so throughout the summer’s camping season.

It seems we just can’t get away from the negative aspects of the pandemic.

Family benefits to stay-at-home orders

It’s a struggle to see any positives to being forced to stay home for days on end. However, the pandemic has provided one benefit. Staying home means families are spending time more time together.

Over the last couple of months parents have had more time to play games, help with homework, and engage in special projects with their children. These kinds of activities have been difficult to fit into our normal hectic schedules. But an even more important result of the pandemic is that families are creating home-prepped meals and sitting down to eat together more often than not.

Anne Fishel, a founding member of The Family Dinner Project, a nonprofit organization of Project Zero at Harvard University states, “Over the past 15 years, researchers have confirmed what parents have known for a long time, sharing a family meal is good for the spirit, the brain and the health of all family members.”

However after so many days of being confined together, gathering around the family dinner table may turn into a tedious situation. Boredom, frustration, worry, can dampen the positive effects of a family sit-down dinner. We may even get a little snippy with each other.

The good news? Eating together may not be the central key to the benefits of a family meal. “While difficult for many, the importance of family dinners comes from the experience of interacting with everyone else in your family, which is not quantifiable,” states psychiatrist Mark Banschick from psychologytoday.com.

An alternative to mealtime bonding

So what alternatives do parents have for keeping the family connected in a positive way? With limited space and opportunities? Think back on those campfire gatherings and the special feelings they evoke.

Beyond sticky s’mores and charcoal-crusted hotdogs, the dancing flames, crackling wood and firefly sparks floating into the night create stress-reducing magic. A 2014 study cited in Evolutionary Psychology supports this idea: “Findings confirm hearth and campfires induce relaxation as a part of a multisensory, absorptive, and social experience.” The study which included 226 adults found that fire with sound consistently reduced blood pressure and enhanced prosociality. People become more relaxed and conversation flows more freely around a campfire.

Typically, children reflect the mood around them. Adults are relaxed, kids are happier. However, if mealtimes are losing their luster, if they are becoming more drudgery than comfort, it may be time to change it up a bit. A campfire can be a great alternative to a family sitdown dinner.

It begins with stories and conversation

There is often not much to do around the campfire except for sharing jokes and stories. Telling stories around the campfire is a great way to end the day. Even the youngest of storytellers can tell a story of their own. They don’t have to memorize every detail. Once they have the general idea of a story, they can add their own details as they go along. Children are quite adept at this.

Telling campfire stories stirs up a variety of emotions and rekindles memories leading to more personal sharing between family members. “Kids enjoy telling stories,” says Fishel, “but they also love hearing stories about their parents and grandparents.”

Fishel offers a few suggestions for getting the conversations started by asking simple questions such as: What’s the craziest thing you have ever eaten? Or what can your favorite (toy, cartoon character) do that you’d like to do? Family members can come up with their own list of unique questions.

More family activities ideas for all ages

Strategies for encouraging discussion work well for the campfire, but there are many other campfire activities that promote togetherness.

• Building the firepit — Turn the family into a construction crew. Assign one of the younger folks to be “foreman.”
• If you don’t have an area for a fire pit, create a safe place to fire up a small bbq grill or hibachi that uses charcoal briquettes.
• Gathering firewood — Every family member can contribute small chunks of woods, sticks, or twigs. Keeping the fire going encourages a sense of cooperation.
• Locate and/or prepare roasting sticks.
• Cook something — Roasting hotdogs and making s’mores is always a treat. Try roasting corn on the cob still in the husk or let everyone create their own “tinfoil” dinner to cook in the coals.
• Music — Younger children enjoy silly songs like “I’m a Nut” or “On Top of Spaghetti”. For older kids, haul out the guitar or use digital recordings to get everyone inspired to join in. This site has song suggestions with video for both adults and children. Perfect for those of us less musically inclined.
• Games — Try to find games with no definite winner like the old standby “Telephone.” “Dead Fish” played with a flashlight is a silly game that requires no setup. (One person is “leader.” The leader counts to 5 while everyone is running around, talking, etc. Then the leader yells “Dead Fish!” and everyone must drop to the ground and act like a dead fish. The leader walks around the “dead fish” looking for movement. If a player is caught moving, he/she goes and stands on the line or they can join the leader in trying to find other players moving. Last person caught becomes the new leader.)
• Stargazing — There are many books to help identify constellations or check the internet for handy stargazing guides or apps that make stargazing fun for all ages and skill levels.

Add some variety to family togetherness

If you aren’t able to make that annual family camping trip and/or you find yourself limited to the backyard fire pit because of the pandemic restrictions, campfires can still provide a unique opportunity for families to connect. So gather up the roasting sticks, dig out the marshmallows, and start nourishing those familial bonds.